by / November 7th, 2008 /

MTV Europe Awards – the full horror

Was it a dream? Did it really happen? We awoke this morning to wonder if we had actually sat and watched the worst awards ceremony of all time or just eaten too much banoffi pie before going to bed and had a nightmare. But no, it’s true. Last night’s MTV European Music Awards did take place and really was that awful.

Where to start? Well how about the fact that they took place in Liverpool. In England, Britain, Europe – whatever your persuasion, it’s not America. So why did we have to endure a continuing parade of vacuous Americans parading onto our screens? Katy Perry as host – OK she managed to avoid coming across like a rabbit in the headlights but the increasingly fruity sexual innuendos quickly got tiresome. I know we gave them Russell Brand but surely they could have found a British or Irish host? It set the tone for the whole evening. Whereas we expect the American awards to be spectacularly foolish, the European version was always a bit cooler. Not anymore.

Instead, let’s let Jared Leto and his two non-speaking mates run a VIP bar and talk about themselves instead of interviewing people, while an office party seems to be going on in the background. Let’s get Perez Hilton to present the best act in the world ever! to Rick Astley. Except he’s not there because he knows that it’s a giant prank. Ha bloody ha. Let’s give awards with ridiculous names to Britney Spears, 30 Seconds To Mars (that fool Leto again), Katy Perry (what a surprise) and Tokio Hotel. And let’s get a competition winner to walk from London so that he can go on stage with, wait for it, Kerry Katona.

As for the performances, well it was a spectacularly put together opportunity for Beyoncé and the Killers to promote their fairly average new singles and Pink to choke on a feather from a pillow fight. Even dear old Kanye, who should have triumphed, was let down by some frankly hideous vocals and a bizarre staging that made it look as if his head was floating. The good points came when they put down the stars and stripes for a moment and remembered where they were. Take That were good, The Tings Tings fantastic but the best thing of the whole night was the Wombats covering Leona Lewis, which says a lot.

None of this, however, is to mention the most hideous moment of the night, as our very own Bono made his way to the stage, resplendent in a denim two piece, tripped over the step and launched into an introduction to -Saint’ Paul McCartney that draw boos when he claimed that the Beatles were really from -bubblin’ Dublin’ and culminated with the cry, ‘He is amongst us, avert your gaze.’ We averted our gaze alright, hiding our faces behind our hands in horror. Lord hear us, let this never happen again.

Katy Perry performs

Pink sings

  • apparently “blackout” by britney spears is album of the year… apparently…

  • The whole ironic Rick Astley thing is so sad. He is/was a fantastic pop singer and deserves to be remembered as something more than lol rickroll’d

  • true – there seems to be some gigantic in-joke that most of the world has missed

  • I posted my thoughts on it here:

    Lets just say I could do with a lot of hugs after watching it-I felt so empty!

  • MTV is long dead and has no significance when it comes to music.

    May its time for some other organization to launch a real European Music channel and awards show

  • john

    “Where to start? Well how about the fact that they took place in Liverpool. In England, Britain, Europe – whatever your persuasion, it’s not America. So why did we have to endure a continuing parade of vacuous Americans parading onto our screens?”

    this is racist.

  • Phil

    No it’s not. It’s simply pointing out that Jerad Leto was rude, that Katy Perry was crude and that there was barely any representation of European talent. If you want to argue that Perez Hilton is not vacuous then please be my guest.

  • Phil

    And in the meantime please enjoy Chairlift, Jazmine O’Sullivan, Beastie Boys, Tilly and the Wall and all the rest of the good American artists we recommend in the new issue of State.

  • “this is racist”

    this is moronic

  • Bono’s piece was SO CRINGEY. I actually nearly died from embarrasment while watching it.

    The Wombats cover was AWFUL. That’s a great song and Leona Lewis is 50,000 times better than they could ever be. Seriously.

    Katy Perry is a complete tool and should be ignored en masse by the world until she fucks off.

    The whole rickrolling thing is boring. I guess Rick Astley now knows how Craig David feels after Bo Selecta gained in popularity.

  • Ah MTV?! If you look in the bin, expect to see rubbish.

  • Well apart from the whole thing turning out as a shambles the most annoying part of the night was every time Leto opened his mouth.
    Not only did he come across as prized prat but no interviewee got a word in edgeways!

  • “Ah MTV?! If you look in the bin, expect to see rubbish.”

    ba dum tisch

  • OK MTV how about playing actual music from Europe like Gemma Hayes, Fettes Brot, Rammstein,Afromental,Ida Maria etc etc and maybe start an Irish Act award and stop lumping Ireland in with the UK for the Best UK & Ireland act when you never represent Ireland.

    They might as well call the awards show MTV UK and America Awards in a European city 2008.

    RIP – MTV Europe

  • God, do you remember when the MTV awards (US or Europe) had stand out & memorable performances. I miss the days of seeing a band like Nirvana playing and watching Krist smack his head on his bass. There’s no danger, excitement or real spontaneity anymore.

    Thankfully I didn’t watch this year’s awards, I wouldn’t be surprised if they got the cast of the Hills to perform a ditty.

    MTV=Avoid at all costs.